I have been listening to your thoughts and have keenly observed its patterns, complexes, self-doubts, abrupt reactions and what all they are bringing to your life and their manifestation in day to day behaviors.
I only see the scarcity, lack of energy, enthusiasm or commitment to do any activity consistently for a longer period that can bring concrete changes.
I watch hurdles, efforts in trying to solve same problems month after month, getting disappointed too early, believing too sooner and its ‘results’ spreading in all spears of life. Always feeling there is something outside you to be gained, strive for, for a feeling of ‘worthy’ in the eyes of others. That something or the other, which are not there at this moment.
Un-channeled thus scattered energy brings no good for self or to the people in your life.
I know you have tried your best with the limited knowledge, focus and energy, to solve, getting whatever ‘help’ with the people around you, tried to stop wrong doings, the shortcuts that has been taken in life for the want of progress, pleasure and accumulations. You also have justifying examples of those who has done in similar ways.
All these efforts have given you ‘some’ of what has been sought, ‘some’ of satisfaction you needed but in the end it has brought more misery, more bondage, more dependency, more slavery and slowly but secretly eroding your self-worth in your own eyes.
And this journey has made you feel, where and how your time has slipped through the fingers like sand grains while chasing those momentary pleasures by giving up the possibility of long term permanent gains. The path you are in does not give any better than what it has already given.
Now say sincere thanks for all those experiences of life, which only made you further bitter while seeking to be better. Don’t fail to observe 90% of those endeavors, relationships have not contributed any satisfaction in your life. Don’t blame people, circumstances or gods; they have always done their best. But flickering focus did not allow that best to come in your life within your time frame.
Inability to stick to a higher principle, surrendering to the universal guiding force or to any knowledgeable persons, all still contributing to where you are and the way you are. The enemy you are cursing is still inside you. It forms the thought patterns which only gives the illusion like how it has been done in last 10, 20, 30 years of your life. It can do no better. The enemy is disguised as outside experiences and appears with different faces and languages.
The correction must be applied inside so that outside endeavors does make sense.
And it is possible for you too to have the clarity of purpose, purity of thoughts, resulting endeavors towards higher possibilities of life.
It does not come to you as long as you are in the company of 'wrongs', people who are of your 'type', they don’t have anything to offer, except bloating your ego giving a momentary satisfaction.
Do you think you still have that extra time in your life to get all that you want?, do you feel your mistakes are forgiven unconditionally, do you believe in ‘a rose in horizon’ , ‘someday isle’, which dramatically change your life to a life of fulfillment, purity, purpose and contribution.
The different possibility is NOW; the moment of change is now, because, now on your path you see a guiding force, clarity of a mind which strives for your betterment that can be fully harnessed. If you don’t utilize it wholeheartedly, this too will pass away, like many earlier transformation moments that life has offered.
Then the future will be the repetition of the past. And you will continue to be busier in creating a future of 'past'.
Chipping stone to convert to an idol is a laborious task. The craftsmen, the tools, the stones have to support each other to ensure their endeavors evolve into an idol worth worshiping. The tool, stone, nor craftsman can say it has only their contribution. When all these are aligned with optimum spirit to endure the pain of the transformation, then everyone’s time is worth.
Focus on these words; I tried my best to put it out on paper for the situation you are in. It’s a personal note for you. I understand your world, the possibilities, feasibility, the fear, the favors and the disgusting state of mind, which are successfully masking a grand potential.
It’s all very clear to me; I had been there much before. Now I know how to get out of it too, because I believed in my mentor's abilities.
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